When A Note Comes Home About Your Child’s School Behavior

When your child’s teacher takes the time to write you a note about a behavior incident that happens at school this teacher is investing in the success of your child. Teachers expect you to take the same amount of time at home discussing with your Kindergartner what went wrong at school and what to do differently next time.  Often we do not get the feeling that we have the full support of parents when it comes to handling your misbehaving child at school.  Ultimately, parents and teachers want the same for all children, success in school!  Many parents perceive that we are confronting their parenting skills when we write notes home.  This is not the case, however we do wish that more was done when your child comes home with a note from school.  I always ask parents to sign and return the note and that’s what they all do.  Just sign it and return.  No comment, no ‘are working on this’, no ‘thanks for keeping us in the loop’ no ‘this was an issue in preschool but we thought it had gone away’…They write nothing!  I do not write notes home often and when I do it is because the child is what I call a repeat offender.  Just can’t seem to learn from his/her mistakes Most parents do not ask for a conference, either in person or by phone,  to discuss their child’s behavior one on one with the teacher with the goal of working together to help the child behave more appropriately at school.  Parents, all teachers are asking is for your support.  The letters will stop coming home about behavior once we adults all work together on a plan and then engage the 5 year old in our plan and hope for better behavior results.

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3 Comments

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3 responses to “When A Note Comes Home About Your Child’s School Behavior

  1. Erin

    There is another side of this, as well. As a parent of a child behaves in school, the lack of any communication is very troubling. My Kindergarten daughter is required to lug a heavy spiraled pre-printed agenda book back and forth to school EVERY day that almost never gets written in. I can count the times the teacher wrote in it on one hand and only once (the first week) was it about my daughter personally – something along the lines of “great week”. (Other notes were school events ie picture day).

    I’m always asking in regards to my daughter’s behavior and classwork. Even face to face the best comments I get is “she’s doing fine”.

    Positive reinforcement should not have to wait until parent/teacher conferences.

  2. kindergartenteacherclaire

    that is unfortunate that the teacher asks for this method of communication and then doesn’t use it. Writing in 25 children’s notebooks every day is unrealistic and it sounds like the teacher is realizing this and has not changed his/her methods of communication. I email my parents and have a distribution list that has all parents on it so if there is a note like ‘pictures tomorrow’ the message can be sent quickly and efficiently by email. Maybe a suggestion should be made to the teacher to find another way to communicate rather than have a young child lug s huge spiral notebook back and forth each day.

  3. Erin

    Once a week would be fine with me – heck twice a month!

    And I’m sure children with behavior issues probably get filled out more often. I just thinks that it’s pretty sad that the well behaved students can’t get a little positive feedback once in a while.

    As for the notebook itself – it’s school wide item (it even has the student handbook printed in it). Kids from K-5 are required to have them.

    Our district’s Kindergarten kids are on full school day trimesters, so actually first report cards are supposed to come home today, and first conference isn’t until Dec. 3. I’m really looking forward to my first real chance to talk to the teacher without interruption. I’ve tried really hard not to become “that” parent and let her communication what she felt was necessary – but I’m going to have a full set of questions ready.

    Her teacher is older and not fond of email I didn’t even get her email address until Oct (School stated Aug 18). So all other notices go back and forth in the communication folder (yes – this is another thing she has to carry back and forth everyday.)

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